We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
no more duck duck goose at the bar
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
