You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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