38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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