I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
