well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
don't judge my taste in strippers
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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