I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
