i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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