Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
