guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
