Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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