So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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