I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
