hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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