i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
