Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I want to be your penis for a week.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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