Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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