It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
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He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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