I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
