scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
