Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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