nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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