and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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