I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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