Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
