1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
