the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
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