Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
