I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
