rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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