sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
