Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize