Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
