It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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