As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
