how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
