I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
