Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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