dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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