Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
