I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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