I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
