I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
