I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
