that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
