We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
