Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
