me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Is Oprah even human
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
