wakey wakey hands off snakey
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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