Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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