I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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