It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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