sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize