I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
All the doctor said was why
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize