you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
