I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
ugly people sure do ruin things
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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