Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
