Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Well I just put wine in my tea
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
