I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize