She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
