Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
