READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
