i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
