Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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