used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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