Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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