Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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