as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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