Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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