I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
