Your tits are I can't wait for
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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