You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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